This is Love
by QueenofPenguania
Summary: The nightmares are always there, but at least MC is too.


**VxMC**

Light slipping through the cotton curtains and haloing brown hair. The warmth of their gentle hand pressed softly against his, fingers interlocked. Coconut invading his senses as he tucked his face against their silken hair which, in its rumpled state, would tickle his face leaving a quirked smile behind. Legs tangled in each other- in the covers- till it was indiscernible where one body stopped and another started. This was peace to Jihyun. Though the peace was often disrupted with what he had thought peace was; whenever he would close his eyes.

Blonde hair shining brighter than the sun, green, piercing eyes which laid him bare. Hands pressed against his face as the sun towered over him. This tainted angel would ask and ask _and ask_. She would demand his everything, and he would hurt, but it wouldn't matter because _she loved him. He loved her_. They were _happy_.

" _Don't you love me? You love me don't you?You'll show me you love me, won't you? Won't you? Show me. Show me. Show me! Show me! SHOW ME!"_

How could he show her? He would know the answer, but the answer would hurt. He just wanted her to stop yelling because then he would be able to sleep. To fade from this existence. Jihyun was tired, _so tired_ , but he had to show her. She would only stop if he showed her. _Show her_. The words would whisper across his skin, and he would often wonder if they were his own thoughts or if they were Her's. Ones that she was implementing into his mind to make him believe that this was what he wanted. _And it would work every time._

Jihyun would reach up to his face. He would ghost his fingers across his eyes, but then the fingers wouldn't be fingers anymore. They were sharp. They were dangerous. _They shouldn't be close to his eyes._

 _No. No. No. No! No! NO! PLEASE!_

The fingers that weren't fingers would dig their way into his sockets. They would curl around his eyeballs, squeezing the blue spheres, and blood vessels would burst at the pressure. This sickening squelch would fill the room as his eyes were ripped out. The blonde goddess would smile down at him as he screamed, and everything turned red and black. The pain didn't matter. She knew now. He knew now. This was love. Was he screaming in pain, or was he screaming in love. Were the two not the same when it came to his tainted angel?

His eyes would dangle there uselessly, and he would be able to feel the optic nerve swinging against his cheeks. He would try to push them back, try to fix what he had done, but She would sever the nerve. They would fall to the floor and roll out of site. _Forgotten_. He would try to cry, but all he would be able to feel was the blood as it ran down in face. The blood would cover him. It would cling to him like a second skin.

His eyes were gone now. It was done, and he couldn't go back. He wanted them back. _He didn't want them_. He needed them. _He didn't need them._ His thoughts would be interrupted when the goddess would put her hands against his cheeks again. She would tilt his face up at her, and he would bask in the glory that She radiated. No, nothing mattered because he loved her. This was love. She was his sun, and he loved her.

" _But didn't anyone ever tell you not to look at the sun too long?"_

It was too dark, too lonely. Jihyun wanted out. He needed to leave. _Let me leave. Let me go! Please! I want to wake up! Please, someone, anyone! Help me! Please, help me!_

The hands against his face would lose the curl to the fingers; the way they would dig into his skin. The fingers would lay delicately against his cheeks, thumb sweeping across the soft skin under his eyes, and he would _know_. He would remember that love did not need pain and agony to flourish. That they were not the same thing. He would remember that love was soft, sweeping, a clenching to the heart, desire, happiness, tranquility. Sometimes love meant hurt, but never like that. _Never like with Her_.

Jihyun would open his eyes and look up at them. He would remember that he could see. _That he had eyes_. That things were clear instead of the blurry, ambiguous shapes which made everything seem like love.

MC would blink down at him, eyebrows furrowed as if they were trying to look into him. To seek out that which had invaded his sleep and vanquish it. Jihyun would close his eyes again because they were too pure to see the darkness which pervaded him. He wouldn't allow it to touch MC. Instead he would bring their head down to meet his. Jihyun would press their foreheads flush together. Love and happiness, thoughts of MC, would fill his head as if he was trying to send them these feelings.

A smile would slowly spread across their face. Jihyun's heart would stutter at the beauty of it. He would let out a pained laugh that would saturate the air around them. This urge would come over him, and he would press kisses to every part of them he could reach. They would giggle whenever he would drag his lips across some of the more sensitive areas. He loved their giggle so much. It reminded him that everything was alright now. That he was allowed happiness. That She didn't have to be here, with him, for him to be allowed to live. _And, oh God, did he want to live._

When the tears finally trailed down his cheeks, MC would kiss his eyes. Their lips would drag down his cheeks following the same trail as the tears, and they would get to his neck and let their hot breath fan over it. Jihyun would gasp in a small breath at the feeling, and MC would know. They would know that they were the reason for that gasp; that Jihyun wanted them. That after going through the pain of Jihyun denying himself this relationship-this relationship which he now felt he could not live without-, they could finally be happy.

They would pull themselves back up to look down at him. A soft smirk would tug at the corner of their mouth- _one that was nothing like Her's. One that spoke only of soft desire and held none of the malicious intent that the angel's had-_ , and MC would close the distance between their lips. Their lips always felt like clouds against his, and they fit together so perfectly, molded against each other. They were never hard and rigid, but always pliant and soft and _warm_. Quiet, gasping breaths would be shared between the two. They would draw their hands up and down each other. Jihyun's hands would move helplessly against the small of their back. MC would tug at his turquoise hair eliciting small moans from him.

Eventually one of them would mention how it was too early or they were too hungry to continue. Laughter would feel the air and his love would get up and head into the kitchen to get something started for breakfast. Jihyun, though, would lay in the bed for just a few more minutes and bask in the comfort. He would take one, long, deep, inhale before running a hand through his hair and pushing himself up. Jihyun would walk into the kitchen and take in the scent of pancakes and bacon, and a small, lazy smile would be cast upon his face. He would look at MC standing at the stove and would walk over wrapping his arms around them. They would look at him fondly from over their shoulder, gold eyes made even warmer in the orange kitchen light. He would return the look, and he would start to swing them side to side. Jihyun would tunnel his face into their hair, and MC would laugh and mention something about how he needs to find somewhere else to nest. He would reply with a noncommittal rubble that vibrated his chest and would send shivers down MC's spine. Taken advantage of that moment, Jihyun would just burrow further into their hair. Breathing them in, breathing in that sweet coconut scent, he would remember.

This is love.

 **Woot! Woot! Happy birthday to V~ And happy 6 days after my birthday to me~ I reward you with this one shot~ So please please praise me~ ("A Self-Indulgent Song" by Oleafia to the tune of "Happy Birthday") And also V ROUTE WAS RELEASED YESTERDAY! However, I can not play it because I don't have 300 hourglasses or the ability to spend any of my money right now cause I'm saving it for cosplays.**

 **Aww but seriously guys I had fun writing this which is odd because a lot of times I'll start something and then have to force myself to finish it. I tried to keep inspiration by continually listening to the same songs that I was listening to when I started writing it.**

 **Those songs are all by Troye Sivan and Florence + The Machine, but from that I mostly listened to:**

" **TALK ME DOWN" Troye Sivan**

" **LOST BOY" Troye Sivan**

" **BLUE" Troye Sivan**

" **There For You" Troye Sivan**

" **Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine**

" **Wish That You Were Here" by Florence + The Machine**

" **Cosmic Love" by Florence + The Machine**


End file.
